


As He Dreams

by MariaMagica



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universes, Angst, F/M, Heavy Angst, This is not fluffy at all beware, Torture, Violence, reset theory possibly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 16:07:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8496574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MariaMagica/pseuds/MariaMagica
Summary: Sometimes Saeyoung wishes he didn't dream.Rewritten to remove some discrepancies.





	

Most people’s dreams are often vague, odd, a mix of what happens in reality and the fantastical. Saeyoung’s dreams are vivid, so real he swears it’s as if he’s awake, only to find himself actually waking up after, recalling the feelings and scents and sights. They reoccur so often that he has to be careful with what he says in the morning, who he says it to. MC jokes about him having to learn lucid dreaming but he knows that he couldn’t do it even if he wanted to.

He tells her about his dreams. Most of them are a lot like the life he’s living now with major deviations following Rika’s suicide. He sees MC and she’s dating another member of the RFA and they’re happy. He’s happy too, for she still makes terrible jokes with him and he’s fond of their friendship. He notes that the other members of the RFA hook up over time. Sometimes they date each other, sometimes they find someone outside the circle. Sometimes they even love him and he wakes up, face warm and heart beating fast. MC jokes about a threesome or even a foursome and Saeyoung finds he’s not completely against the idea. It’s definitely on his bucket list.

Another regular dream he has is very similar to his current real life except V dies from the gunshot wound. Saeran is completely destroyed, his mind shattered by Rika’s words and his own actions. Jumin is a mess at the funeral but the RFA is there to comfort him. Over time his brother slowly recovers, opening up more when he talks to him, interacts with him more, becomes a bigger part of his life. Life goes on, , Jaehee finds a way to open her café, his brother is safe, MC lives with him all the time but there’s an emptiness they all can’t seem to fill. Rika is in her own apartment again, Zen and Yoosung her caretakers. Every time he sees her on CCTV, it’s a stark reminder of the mourning he has not yet done. So when Zen sends her away without Jumin’s consent, he doesn’t protest.

When he wakes up, he calls V to check if he’s okay. He does this so often, V is starting to become worried.

Some dreams are rare. He remembers them better because of they never seem to come around again. It terrifies him more.

One day he tells MC about a dream where she never arrives, too wary to follow some stranger's direction to someone's house. The RFA falls apart after a while and even though they try to stay in contact as friends, with Rika’s suicide and V’s disappearance they don’t have any reason to stick around. She hugs him when he says that, holds him tight against her warm body and strokes his head. He buries himself in her shoulders, allows himself to play with her long hair.

He doesn’t tell her the rest of that dream on purpose.

Sometimes it continues and he sees himself lonely and bored, taking a break from his current assignment to spy on the others via security cameras out of curiosity. He watches how Jumin completely absorbs himself in his work, his cat projects and wine. The heir literally does nothing else from the moment he gets up to the early morning where he almost falls asleep on his desk. Sees how Zen puts on a big smile on stage and in front of his fans, a smile that instantly drops the moment he thinks no one is watching. In his free time, the actor drinks and smokes too much and almost lands in the hospital again when he goes out on his nightly motorcycle rides. 

Jaehee works so hard, she faints right in Jumin’s office and quits due to stress. He doesn’t know what happens to her after that, she pretty much vanishes. Yoosung does nothing else but play LOLOL, neglecting the outside world and his studies. It gets so bad his mother forces him to move back into her home and he even starts fighting with her when she tries to take the computer away from him. He tells himself he should go out and see them again but Vanderwood yells at him for being late with the project and he completely forgets about it.

That’s the good version of that dream, he knew now. Saeyoung learned the hard way not to hope for alternate endings.

He’s behind bars, his ankles chained to the wall behind him. He has room to move but barely. He smells iron but he’s not sure if it’s from the chains or from himself. His mind is foggy and he tries to formulate an escape plan but he can’t even make a coherent sentence.

Outside his jail cell he sees Jumin, the heir’s suit completely ruined, he’s resisting to no avail as two burly men force him to sit on a chair. He sees Rika, she’s wearing some sort of priestly garb, the others greeting her as their savior and he wants to laugh but his face burns and his body barely has any energy left. There’s another man next to her, someone older and he feels like he should recognize him, but he doesn’t. The man whispers something to her and she gives an order. They inject something into Jumin, a transparent liquid that moves like gelatin and soon the executive’s body is shaking, his muscles contracting visibly and the only thing holding him onto the chair are his bonds. He sees Jumin’s eyes fluctuate in size wildly, his nose is bleeding. 

Zen is in another jail cell on the other side, he didn’t even know he was there due to the lack of light. He is screaming profanities towards his captors, hands shaking on the bars. One of the men decide they’ve heard enough insults and heads into his jail cell. Rika doesn't even say anything. He can’t see Zen anymore but he hears him and desperately wishes it would stop. The man kicks him so hard and the pained yelps stop when he hears a sickening crunch. He hears Jaehee crying softly but he doesn’t know where she is. The guards toss Jumin in the same jail cell, both men completely immobile. He wants to cry, to call out but he can’t. He just can’t.

Saeran comes by, eyes bright with an evil sort of happiness, he’s holding a leash with Yoosung on the other end. Yoosung tries his best but every time he sees Saeyoung, he cries and Saeran laughs and pulls the leash so hard he chokes. The blonde is wearing a suit, his hair combed and looking the most decent of them all but he knows from the litter of bruises on his face and hands that this is deceptive. Having found the last bit of stamina in him, he begs his brother and asks for him to take Yoosung’s place. He is the one Saeran hates, not Yoosung, let him go, please please please _please_. Saeran just laughs and laughs.

He hears his jailors gossip, talking about that idiot fiancé with his stupid blue hair that Rika gives too much attention to and how he ran to the police like the coward he was, only to get himself arrested. When one of them expresses worry on how this might lead to Mint Eye, the other reassures him that it’s not a problem, for the Savior will already have the ultimate pawn for her to use. One of them is a woman with long hair and familiar eyes and for some reason it hurts him to look at her, so much he wants to claw out his heart but he doesn't know why.

When he feels warm hands grab him, he knows it’s his turn again. Rika wanted to have him the most, Saeran told him so when they kidnapped him during a moment of weakness when he was worried sick about the others, voice laden with jealousy and spite as he had put a bag over his head. As the needle enters his skin painfully, his vein sore from all the past shots, and Rika’s talking to him with the sweetest voice he’s ever heard, he thinks that maybe being part of paradise isn’t so bad after all.

He wakes up, sweating and nauseous, climbs out of bed gently not to wake MC, stumbles to the bathroom and promptly throws up in the toilet. When MC appears, he tells her it’s probably food poisoning. He’s not sure she’s convinced.

That morning, he hacks into everyone’s phones to pull them together in the chat. They all react angrily and he types in a few jokes as his hands are shaking. He holds his own phone to his forehead, breathing deeply as he knows they’re okay, they’re all okay, it was just a dream.

Or at least, he tells himself that, tries to bury the guilt that arises every time he remembers that night. He allows himself the tiniest bit of comfort, that the others can see his life whenever they dream and that, hopefully, it comforts them.

He knows he’s won the luck of the draw.

**Author's Note:**

> Next one will be fluffy again, I promise.


End file.
